Parenting Advice?

As I've entered the realm of parenthood, I've realized quickly that the world is SOO ready to give you advice on how to raise your child.

While I was pregnant, I was so consumed in preparing for giving birth, stressing about money/unemployment/moving that I didn't even want to think about what I would do once the baby actually arrived. I had picked up Dr. Sears' "The Baby Book" and thought I had everything I needed. Everything I read in The Baby Book seemed just fine and in line with how I wanted to parent.
No one had mentioned or recommended any other books at all, so I was flying blindly once Jackson actually came!

This is probably because I was very resistant to any mention of the impending sleep deprivation as I perceived these comments as pessimistic. (I still do!) I knew it was likely what my future held, but I didn't want to think about it. No one had offered any tips at all until after I dared to complain to the internet about how tired I was.

After the recommendations started coming, I sent David all over Plano going to the different libraries with a long list of books to pick up for me. I soon realized that EVERYONE has an opinion about parenting, and they range the gamut from extreme attachment parenting, to crying it out and everywhere in between. Everyone has an opinion on co-sleeping, self-soothing, baby wearing, rocking your baby to sleep, demand feeding, parent-directed feeding, scheduled feeding, swings, etc. And these are only BABY ISSUES!

So the confusion began. I really wanted one book to just tell me how to get my baby to sleep better! Where is my book of solutions?! Which book is RIGHT? Which book is WRONG? I wanted a step-by-step, day-by-day, what-to-do-in-this-situation kind of book that had all the answers that pertained to MY child. A book that allowed me to do all the things with my child that I wanted, and avoid all the things that I would never dream of using for my child.

No such book exists. At least not for me!

After at least a month of reading several books, many of which repeated many of the same tactics for getting babies to sleep better, I finally decided that:

1. It is a WONDERFUL idea to read books for educational purposes.
2. I can't follow everyone's advice at once. (As much as I'd like to.)
3. It is MY child, so I will do what I feel MY child needs at this time in their life, and what I'm comfortable with.
4. I will try ideas that appeal to me, and keep what works, and forget what doesn't!
5. If I do all that I can to make my baby comfortable and happy, he will sleep longer stretches when he is ready to! 

Now, lest you think that I've given up and resigned myself to sleepless nights, I haven't! We have come a long way and although I am still very tired and have to drag myself out of bed every morning, things have changed SO much since we brought Jackson home from the hospital.

At about 10 days old, Jackson "woke up" and realized he was hurting! For about two weeks, we tried everything for hours at a time to calm down our SCREAMING baby. I was lucky to get ONE three-hour stretch out of him at night, while he woke every one or two hours the rest of the night. Not to mention that it took him 30+ minutes to eat. I didn't get a lot of sleep. 

Then we discovered that he has reflux AND a milk protein sensitivity. 

He is a totally different baby now. He still fusses and cries on occasion, but he coos and laughs and lays happily looking around. And his cries do not communicate pain. Actually, he doesn't even usually cry to get my attention, he just squawks. If I ignore his squawks long enough, he will get to a full-blown cry. His wailing from pain early on was so hard on me emotionally... It is so hard to see your baby in pain. 

Considering where we came from, I am more than grateful for the nights when Jackson only wakes up 3 times. At least I'm able to get in a couple of full REM cycles in every night, even if I'm waking up in between them.

I went through a phase where I felt like it was my fault that he doesn't sleep well, and that I was doing something wrong because my NEWBORN doesn't sleep longer than 4 hours at a time. He is gradually able to sleep longer, and as he matures it will continue to get better. I am happy, my baby is happy, and that is all that matters!

June 4th: Our First Anniversary!

David and I had a wonderful day together for our first anniversary. For one day, we allowed ourselves to forget our troubles and celebrate our joyous union and to reminisce on the good memories that we've shared together in our first year as a married couple, and how we were brought together.

Honeymooners at Disneyworld

We're pregnant!!

We thought of all our many blessings-- that David was brought to Texas, that we had callings that brought us together, and that we were both humble enough to listen when God was urging us to date. We were so blessed to have the means to have a beautiful wedding, and loving family and friends who helped in every way to make it all that we hoped for. We were blessed that David had a job for the first six months of our marriage, and we were so blessed to be able to start our family right away. We were blessed to have loving parents on both sides of our family that have been so willing to help us through the hard times with unemployment, pregnancy, moving, and finally a new baby.

In our first year, we had nothing, yet we had everything.

We had no money, we had no job, but we had everything that matters. We had our God, we had our love, and we had each other. And thanks to the government and our parents, we had a roof over our head and food to eat!

My mother offered to watch Jackson so that David and I could get out and celebrate for a few hours.

So excited to be going out!

We decided to eat lunch at Rudy's BBQ, which is where we had our very first date two years ago. It was so wonderful to put our worries aside and enjoy a day to celebrate.

Yummy Brisket, Creamed Corn and Beans!

I even wore the same shirt that I wore on our first date!

Then we went to Northpark and to Tiffany & Co. to get my ring cleaned. We looked around and daydreamed about the day when we would be able to buy other things from Tiffany & Co. and not just come to get my ring cleaned. We can only hope that we'll see good enough days in the future for that to become a reality.

When David and I bought the Ring: Nov 5, 2010

After Northpark, we hurried home to our baby because my mom had somewhere to be. We got Jackson to sleep, and David went and picked up some chinese from Little Sichuan, which is where we went on our SECOND first date, and then enjoyed a piece of our wedding cake that we had diligently kept in the freezer for the last year. It was delicious then, and it is delicious now! I only had a small piece since I am working to keep dairy out of my diet for Jackson. It was really good though :-)

Mmm Cumin Beef and Chicken Lo Mein!

Looks pretty good for being a year old!

Our first year of marriage was really tough. We encountered a lot of hardships that I don't care to repeat ever again, let alone all within the same 12 months. We took our anniversary as an opportunity to put the last year behind us and to hope for a better year to come. Nothing about our circumstances has changed-- we are still unemployed with a new baby and living with my parents-- but we are glad to have our first year behind us!! Here's to many more to come, for better or for worse!