JUST SLEEP!!

Tonight I have a lot of emotions.

Bitterness, frustration, anger, fatigue, and even a bit despondent. 

I am having a really hard time not blaming my child's sleep problems on our life circumstances.

If only we had a job and our own place, and money so I could have bought books to prepare more fully for having an infant.

But then again, I didn't even think to buy baby sleep books before he was born. So even if we had had money for them, I probably wouldn't have known to buy and read them.

But since I have been reading them, if we had our own place, I wouldn't have to worry about the temperature of the room, whether my mom would hear my baby cry and judge my parenting choices, and maybe consistency wouldn't be such a struggle for me.

If only my baby didn't have reflux and didn't cry so much when he was so little then I wouldn't have developed such "bad habits" regarding his sleep. I can't control that one, but what if?

If only my husband had a job and our lives were more structured, then having a consistent and predictable schedule would be easier. 

Are sleep associations really that bad? Is it normal for my baby to be waking up every 2-3 hours at this age? 

JUSTICE!

After EIGHT LONG months, we finally got David's wages in the mail!

We are especially grateful to the state of Texas for chasing after David's former boss and strong arming him into paying us the money he owed us. 

David and I are SO GLAD to have this chapter of our lives CLOSED. It has been nothing but a nightmare. Literally. It was a learning experience that I hope we never face again.

The Latest in Our World

Wow, it has been almost a month since I last blogged!

Let's see, what's been going on the last month?

My world has been consumed by motherhood, and as busy (and utterly exhausted) as that makes me, it doesn't seem like there is much to say!

Jackson went to the doctor yesterday for a little cough and congestion that ended up just being allergies, and he weighed in at 17 lb 8 oz!! My chunky little baby! Or as the doctor called it, "healthy." haha

He also rolled over from his tummy to his back-- but he's only done it once! I can't get him to do it again! BUT, he has been practicing rolling from his back to his side, and he loves the freedom that it gives him. I find him ending up in new positions and not in the same place I set him down. He is finding mobility (even in the smallest degree) so fun and exciting!

He loves to suck and chew on his fingers, wrist, or fist while he plays. He loves to put his hands together and hold them. It's so cute :)

Daddy loves to put Jackson on his shoulders, and Jackson loves to use David's ears as handle bars!

He loves to bat at things that hang above him, and he loves to be kissed on his jaw-- it makes him smile and sometimes even giggle!

Jackson loves to use his voice! He is saying "words" like ah-goo, gah, ooohh, gah-gah. And he has figured out how to scream. I've even heard the "m" sound out of him a few times. It's so fun to watch them discover new things!

Jackson has also discovered his feet! He loves to try and grab them, and sometimes he actually gets them!

About a week ago I noticed that he rubs his eyes when he is tired. So cute!

David is so excited to take Jackson fishing at Yellowstone in a couple of weeks, he couldn't resist showing Jackson the fish at the Rainforest Cafe at Grapevine Mills!

Jackson likes to watch youtube videos with his daddy. Mommy isn't crazy about this practice, but sometimes it gives her a break so she can do crazy things like, oh ya know, take a shower or eat a snack because she hasn't eaten anything all day except a bowl of cereal.

Jackson is still not the greatest sleeper, he still wakes up at least 2 times a night. His longest stretch of sleep so far was 6.5 hours, but from 8pm- 2:30am. That was a good night! The early morning hours are still rough. He usually wakes up around 5 or 5:30, and then sleeps for another hour or so and is usually up for the day around 6:30. I usually end up taking him to bed with me just to milk the most sleep out of the morning as possible. Sometimes I get lucky enough to stay in bed until 8.

I have been trying hard to get him on some sort of an eating/sleeping schedule, but it seems like there is always something that gets in the way. Sometimes it's just my sheer exhaustion. I like to think that Jackson is a harder baby than most. It makes me feel better about being so tired and feeling so out of control. It will get easier, I hope.